I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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