it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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