goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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