dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
