Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
