I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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