So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
