My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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