I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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