Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
