I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I didn't notice because vodka
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
