You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
