She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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