So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
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Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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