OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
