I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
