We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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