i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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