I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just sucked dick on a ferry
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize