So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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