We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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