Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
