i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
