Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
