Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
