fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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