Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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