This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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