You're completely useless in the revolution.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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