Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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