you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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