a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
