I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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