that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
