I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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