i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize