Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
