Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
