Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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