Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
