I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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