I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
