If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
