so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize