Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
