So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
