the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
