You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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