these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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