my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm always down for nudity.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
