first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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