I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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