I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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