Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
