I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
