You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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