please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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