yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
